READER SUBMISSION: Jim Panfil, former Director of Marketing, Atmel Corporation

Today's reader-submitted executive is a superbly moustachioed 1960s original in fine working condition, offering experience, a classic all-white shirt option and an annoying tickling sensation when he nibbles lovingly and loyally at your neck.



"This is Jim Panfil. Once upon a time he was Director of Marketing at Atmel Corporation. Today, his LinkedIn public profile says he's interested in 'career opportunities', 'job inquiries' and 'getting back in touch'. What happened, Jim?" - DM.

BEHIND THE SCENES SPECIAL!

Long-time cross-network thing-of-note submitter "Phorenzik" recently sent us a link to a blog called EXECUTIVE BUSINESS PORTRAITS - the home of a man who makes a living taking genuine executive photographs.

Like, he does it seriously. All day long. Every day, economy permitting.



The blogger talks us through how his shots are taken, even going so far as to supply variant test shots of the photos that were eventually used, also giving us thrilling "Making Of..." commentary on the photography process. Such as:

"Today I had an executive portrait session in Denville, NJ. Jackson needed a few different looks for his marketing pieces. So we did some traditional and more casual style portraits without a tie. I think we accomplished what we were trying to do."

If you have an ironic or even non-ironic interest in men standing awkwardly in front of a wide variety of cloudy backgrounds, be sure to check out EXECUTIVE BUSINESS PORTRAITS.



There are photos like this on it.



And photos like this.



And like this.

BRITISH EXECUTIVE: David Morton, Strategic Development Director of Menzies Distribution

He's escaped! One's escaped! Call the police and have all local bus and rail services stopped. No, it's too late! He's on a coach. We repeat, he's on a coach, last seen heading north on the A1.



He's now taunting authorities by posting photos that give clues about his whereabouts on social networking sites.

Jeffrey J. Allison, Executive Vice President and Senior General Merchandise Manager, JCPenney

Too much grey. There's hardly any colour information in this image at all - you could convert this one to a GIF and it'd look about the same.



You could photocopy this picture and it'd look about the same. You could fax it and his grey appearance, blotchy suit and jagged hairline would be perfectly reproduced.

Say what you like about Jeffrey J. Allison - he's a cheap one to print out photos of. If you're always having to print out photos of your executives, think how much you'd save in the long-term from hiring Jeff.

Nicholas DeBenedictis, Chairman and CEO, Aqua America, Inc

Lovely deluxe leather upholstery. Sun-dried, hand-stitched, each remaining strand of hair individually combed from left-to-right for the ultimate in executive partings.

Don't just get an executive, get a DeBenedictis.



One point - if your company's already got "America" in its name, there's no need to also wear an American flag pin badge. We get that you like your country. We like parts of it too, mainly the part that licenses out the Oreos brand for production overseas.

READER SUBMISSION: Karen Driscoll, Vice President of Marketing Services, Sesame Workshop

WOMAN ONE! This one's standing in front of a green screen. That makes Photoshopping her into a variety of compromising locations extremely easy. We could put her in front of a rival company's logo, or stick her in the frozen food aisle of ASDA, for example, or have her standing in a cheap lapdancing club.

But we won't. That would be rude.



"For reasons I genuinely have no understanding of. I'm somehow on the corporate mailing list for Sesame Street. Little do they realise that the only use I have for mugshots is forwarding them to Sexy Execs. I have yet to work out which constellation the moles on her neck form. Maybe she was just attacked by a very careless vampire?" - Stuart A.

BRITISH EXECUTIVE: Dave Everitt, General Manager of EMEA, Absolute Software

Believe it or not, this one just arrived in our email inbox. Surely executives aren't now battling to see who's the sexiest of them all? We'll have to assemble a rate card. If people are going to start submitting their own photos, we might as well start making them pay for it. This isn't some sort of casual sex messageboard, despite how it may look.



If this was a casual sex messageboard, Dave would be waiting a very long time for even the least invasive of contact. He should've used an older photo, something from the 80s at least.

DOUBLE FEATURE: Mike Purchia, Managing Director, Northeast, and Courtney Grover, Division Manager, Northeast, LEVEL5

We couldn't choose between this sensational pair from LEVEL5, so we've gone and uploaded them both. We're not going to make a habit of doing this, as we find there's only so much businessman it's possible to take on a daily basis.



And this is possibly too much businessman. This one's Courtney. Courtney must've been a more acceptable name for a boy in 1949. And here's the Mike.



We'd sign the deal with Courtney, then go out to celebrate with Mike. Mike has the look of a man who knows how to organise a good night out, and is always the last man to stop drinking. How could you say "no" when that puppy dog face shoves another triple into your hand?

Eduardo Senf, President, Newell Rubbermaid International

Is his hair coming out OK on your monitor? It's making ours strobe violently when we scroll the picture up and down.



Nice colour background. Brings out the blue detailing in the jacket. We say jacket, as there's no way he can be wearing matching trousers. A suit made entirely out of that fabric would be way too much.

On the off-chance someone who knows Eduardo reads this, can you please confirm if that's just a jacket or if it's a whole suit? Thanks.

Bill Brown, Chief Information Officer, Iron Mountain

When Bill looks in the mirror and takes stock of his life during a quiet moment after the wife and kids have gone to bed, we'd imagine he's quite upbeat about what looks back at him. We're between 15 and 20 years younger than Bill, but would happily swap teeth & hair with him.



We've bought better suits and shirts from Cancer Research, though, so he can keep his business ensemble.