Ray O'Connor, President and CEO, Topcon Positioning Systems

That lapel badge symbolises his favourite breakfast cereal, for meeting small-talk purposes.



Shredded Wheat. That why his skin's so healthy.

James Slattery, Chairman and CEO, Florida PDMP Foundation, Millennium Laboratories

Hair of the Week.



Has the wiry thickness of a wig, but you can see the follicles attached to his head at the front. We'll categorise this one under Hair Mysteries, pending further analysis in a few decades time when science has caught up.

John Tarpey, Chief Executive Officer, Balfour Beatty Construction's North Region

Jasper Carrott?



So sad to see such an uncared-for scalp. He's long-since given up looking at his reflection. If his wife says his hair is fine, that's good enough for him.

Greg Novak, CEO and Managing Partner, Novak Druce + Quigg

Would very much like to "party" with Greg following a long and drawn out period of tense business negotiations.



By 2.30am we'd be drunk enough to ask him exactly what's going on with his hair and if his "tally" of female co-workers has smashed the psychological 1000 barrier yet.

Alan R. Hodnik, CEO, ALLETE

It looks like Alan spends too much time sleeping on his right-hand side. His right ear has been squashed flat. Alan, you need to get your wife to roll you over every few hours. You're too young a man to suffer the shame of asymmetrical ears.



The photographer is at fault here. In attempting to capture the full glory of the moustache, the (presumably amateur) snapper has inadvertently drawn attention to Alan's ears. If he'd told Alan to rotate a few degrees, the ear asymmetry could've been hidden from view.

It's always worth sacrificing moustache clarity for ear symmetry, everyone knows that. There's even a rhyme that helps photographers remember this fact:

If the ears are out of line,
Don't assume it will be fine!

Tell the man to turn his head,
Or your shoot will sure be dead.

Nicholas DeBenedictis, Chairman and CEO, Aqua America, Inc

Lovely deluxe leather upholstery. Sun-dried, hand-stitched, each remaining strand of hair individually combed from left-to-right for the ultimate in executive partings.

Don't just get an executive, get a DeBenedictis.



One point - if your company's already got "America" in its name, there's no need to also wear an American flag pin badge. We get that you like your country. We like parts of it too, mainly the part that licenses out the Oreos brand for production overseas.

Amber Salzman, CEO, Cardiokine, Inc.

WOMAN ONE! We should've saved this one as a special Christmas update. Look at her, she's pretty much entirely normal. Imagine that. A normal woman. Imagine a woman. With her hair and skin, and all smooth.



Heavily cropped. Probably nothing to it, but it's raising our suspicions.

Norm Szydlowski, president and chief executive officer, SemGroup

The Szydlowski family was bred underground, hence the minuscule eye-holes. His tan has come from being under studio lighting for five minutes - and he's wearing Factor 20!



The lip-whiskers are used to sense the vibrations of its prey in the total darkness of the subterranian hunting grounds.

Dr Peter Collins, CEO, Dezineforce

Has to wear a special protector during the night, else he grinds his teeth. Should probably start wearing it during the day as well.



Also has to have his body restrained with four-inch leather straps during the night, else he hogs literally ALL the duvet.

GDF SUEZ Subsidiary Appoints Robert A. ("Bob") Wilson as President and CEO

He's gone for the timeless brown & gold combo, but you need a decent tan to really pull that particular look off with style. The shirt also appears to be an off-white, but that could just be poor studio lighting so we won't press the matter.



Makes us glad to be long-term unemployed.

Michael White, President and CEO, DIRECTV

Nice American hair. Confident ball-busting stare. Let's pretend not to notice the THINGS.



We've spotted five THINGS. How many THINGS can you count? And what animal do you get if you join the things?

TRIPLE TEAM: Don R. Daseke, Chairman of the Board, East Teak; Wayne Rogers, President and CEO, East Teak; Don Thompson, President and CEO, Thompson Mahogany

Our first TRIPLE executive shot! A moustache. Matching suits. Some sort of handkerchief signal that is displaying his business preferences. Very well arranged hands. A bit of leg. All of them smiling. Eyes open. Welcoming! AMAZING!



This is never going to be beaten. This may have to become the new logo. If we HAD to make a criticism, it would be that the directors of the wood companies are sitting on a stone desk - it should be some sort of expensive imported teak. It would also be nice if the two on the left were holding hands to reinforce the union, but that's probably a bit too much irony for men of a certain age.



New desktop image. Our icons are currently arranged on the marble desk and stuck up like pictures on the wall. It's as if the photographer KNEW this would end up as a desktop image and purposefully left lots of clear white space for icons around the men.

To ensure this photograph is properly documented for future generations to enjoy long after we are gone, here is the full press release to explain the momentous coming-together.

Thompson Mahogany Company Merges with East Teak Fine Hardwoods, Inc.

Combined Companies Expand Product Offerings

DALLAS--(BUSINESS WIRE)--Thompson Mahogany Company, a fine hardwoods importer based in Philadelphia, has merged with East Teak Fine Hardwoods, Inc., an importer of First European Quality Teak and other fine hardwood products based in South Carolina and Washington state.

Thompson Mahogany Company will operate as a wholly owned subsidiary of East Teak, yet will maintain full operational autonomy from its headquarters location. The combined entities will leverage the strength of both companies to better serve customers in the residential, commercial, hospitality and marine industries.

Founded in 1843, Thompson Mahogany Company is a preeminent supplier of quality tropical hardwoods from Central America, South America and Africa. Thompson directly imports more than 25 exotic wood species of lumber, decking, and flooring, used for furniture, flooring, outdoor decks and boardwalks. The company ships into the ports of Camden, NJ and Philadelphia, supplying wholesalers, distributors and manufacturers throughout the United States and Canada. In 2001, the Philadelphia Inquirer recognized Thompson Mahogany Company as one of Philadelphia's historical businesses.

Founded in 1972, East Teak Fine Hardwoods, Inc. is the leading importer of the highest grade teak and other fine hardwood species used as decking, flooring, siding, mouldings and custom millwork in the construction of hotels, resorts, office buildings, luxury homes and yachts. From its facilities in South Carolina and Washington, East Teak serves the architectural, up-scale residential, commercial construction, hospitality and boating industries throughout the United States and the Caribbean.

"Thompson Mahogany has an exceptional reputation in the industry and is well known for its quality products and excellent customer service. We want to continue this tradition while strengthening both companies in the market," said Wayne Rogers, President and Chief Executive Officer of East Teak Fine Hardwoods. "Thompson Mahogany joining the East Teak family offers many benefits, including a strong customer base across North America; a complementary product line; the addition of direct suppliers in South America and Africa; and an expanded distributor network."

Industry veteran Don Thompson, President and Chief Executive Officer of Thompson Mahogany Company, will remain as President of Thompson Mahogany. Thompson has served as President of the International Wood Products Association and is a leader in the promotion of sustainable forestry. "Joining with East Teak assures that the great legacy of Thompson Mahogany will continue," said Thompson. "East Teak understands how we do business and the importance of the relationships we have built over the years with our customers, suppliers and distributors. I feel confident teaming with East Teak will enable Thompson Mahogany and East Teak to better serve all of our customers."

Headquartered in Dallas, East Teak operates under the direction of Don R. Daseke, Chairman of the Board. "I am very excited to see these two highly respected industry giants come together," stated Mr. Daseke. "Both Thompson Mahogany and East Teak have proven they know how to serve customers effectively. Their people and knowledge of fine hardwoods are the keys to great customer service. This combined company will now have one of the largest inventories of imported fine hardwoods in the United States."

Mr. Daseke was the founder and CEO of Walden Residential Properties, Inc., a Real Estate Investment Trust listed on the New York Stock Exchange until it was sold in 2000. He is Chairman of the Board of Smokey Point Distributing, Inc.; Chairman of the Board of Liquid Motors, Inc.; a Trustee of DePauw University; the past Chairman of the Dallas Chapter of the World Presidents Organization; and the Founding Chairman of Sage Telecom, Inc. Mr. Daseke was elected to the Town of Addison (Texas) City Council in May 2009.

Financing for the transaction was provided in part by PNC Bank, N. A., a member of The PNC Financial Services Group, Inc. (NYSE:PNC).

For more information, visit www.eastteak.com and www.thomahog.com.

Marcellus Taylor, Chairman and CEO, Chicago Emerging Manager Firm

Marcellus, you've got a few grey fluffy ones that are longer than the rest. Get them plucked. They're ruining your 'baby face' vibe.



Bloody nice tie, though. That must've been very expensive and prestigious when it originally launched.

DOUBLE TEAM: Adolfo Henriques (left), Chairman of Board of Directors, and Steven Hayworth Founder and CEO, Gibraltar Private Bank and Trust

A perfect pairing - one's got too much face at the bottom, while the other's got too much face at the top. One's a bit too big, the other's a bit too small. One instinctively rotates to the left, one instinctively rotates to the right.



Perhaps this meeting was arranged so they could breed?

BRITISH EXECUTIVE: Jeff Smith, Chairman and CEO, Teleperformance UK

£20 says he's got the most Northern accent you've ever heard.

"Bye 'eck, I swear these fax machines are getting more complicated by t'year".

Rod Hochman, MD & CEO, Swedish Medical Center

Another lovely photo to print out and tell everyone it's your real dad.

That man sitting on the sofa watching Sky Sports 2 isn't my real dad. My real dad is Ron Hochman, MD & CEO, Swedish Medical Center. My real dad owns a suit. Look, I have a photo of him in my wallet. He must be my dad if there's a photo of him in my wallet.

No one would carry around a printout of a photo of a man they got off the internet, would they? That would be odd.

Ted Mathas, president, chief executive officer, chairman, New York Life Insurance Company

President, chief executive officer AND chairman? Ted, seriously, you might want to start delegating a bit of that authority. Maybe then you'll be able to un-clench your teeth, do some nice relaxing blinking, and get more than three hours of angry, restless sleep a night.

"W...where's my... my... c... c... COFFEE?"

Also, your hair would look thicker if you didn't put so much 'product' on the front bit. Maybe just a touch of wax on top to stop the back sticking up from now on? We know, we know, you're too busy to think about updating the hairstyle you've had since college. That's why we're here.

Ken Lewis, CEO, Bank of America

Bitterness-tainted guest update provided the 'The VP':

Ken can barely raise a smile. He is trying, yet still the corners point DOWN. Observe the dead eyes. Look at that mouth! It's existed for over five decades solely to deliver orders to minions detailing how best to steal $35 per minor account infraction from unfortunate Bank of America customers.



Although we don't quite know when this image was taken, it's safe to assume it was just before Ken decided that it was 'probably going to be okay' to let people apply for mortgages without checking their income. Or credit ratings.

Sorry Ken, but even if you steal $35 every day from everyone in America, it's going to take you a few years to dig you out of the greedhole you plunged your bank, its shareholders and the entire global economy into!

DOUBLE TEAM! Carl Roehling, President & CEO, SmithGroup, and Robert L. Shaw, President, F&S Partners

Ahh, they're leaning into each other. The cheerful body language matches the positive cost-saving synergies soon to be realised by their businesses working more closely together in the creative ideaspace.

INT. NIGHT
Busy bar scene. Two men in suits are swaying from drunkenness on bar stools.

CARL
Honestly, Rob, I tell you, right. We're gonna... we're gonna...

ROB
Crush their asses!

CARL
Yeah, man. Like, liquidise their asses!

ROB
Liquidise their assets!

CARL
And that!

ROB
Oh, man. Awesome. Can I have another go on the poppers?

Ms. Victoria Johnson, President/CEO, CRI

Imagine having a job where it was your job to go on lunch meetings with "Ms." Johnson. It would definitely be the highlight of the week, even if she insisted on just grabbing a healthy sandwich and a water from the deli.

Few beers after work, Vicky? Oh, go on! Go on. Go on. You might as well. Go on. He won't mind. Say it's for work. I'm buying. Go on. Just one? Just a half? Just a sip of one of mine? An orange juice? Apple juice? Cranberry? It's good for you, cranberry juice. Some crisps, then? Just stand outside with me for five minutes? FIVE MINUTES. Just FIVE MINUTES? You honestly can't even spare FIVE MINUTES? You evil COW.