Has the wiry thickness of a wig, but you can see the follicles attached to his head at the front. We'll categorise this one under Hair Mysteries, pending further analysis in a few decades time when science has caught up.
This has the potential to become an all-time favourite.
The silly tie was probably a Christmas present from a grandchild, and he's pulling it off well. What a nice man. Bet he doesn't drink. Bet he doesn't even need to drink. Imagine being that happy and relaxed without first having to drink four pints. He's saving a fortune.
Suit's too new. We suspect he bought it for the shoot. We can't prove that, obviously, just like we can't prove he also got his hair cut yesterday for the shoot. Or that he bought the tie and shirt as a set for the shoot.
We merely SUSPECT this isn't the Matthew Sommer you'd get to see on a daily basis, were you to bump into him on a day when he hadn't been warned to look smart.
So sad to see such an uncared-for scalp. He's long-since given up looking at his reflection. If his wife says his hair is fine, that's good enough for him.
VERY URGENT. CATEGORY A1+ URGENCY APPEAL RATING. STOP ALL OTHER INTERNET USE.
Sharron operates an amazing business called Golden Valley Insurance, which seems to provide insurance for pets - and musical instruments. With thanks to reader Matthew for the find. We hope you sorted out your pet/cello insurance needs, Matt.