BRITISH EXECUTIVE: Phil Rothwell, Sales Director, Postcode Anywhere

Yep. True Brit. Still conscious about his body from being made to have a shower after PE at school. 30 years later and he still has no confidence or idea about what to do with his arms in photographs.

He probably keeps putting his hands into his pockets then taking them out of his pockets again. He desperately needs some direction from the photographer, but is getting NOTHING. The photograph was taken by the junior sales executive. Bet you anything.

The WHAT service? If you're so insecure you MUST stand in front of the company logo to give yourself some sort of validity, at least make sure the text is readable. Honestly, these UK executives - they need spoon-feeding. Come on, Phil, time for your mashed banana. Oh dear, never mind, it'll wipe off. Just put it in the washing machine, these man-made fibres are very resilient.

If you zoom in on his glasses you can see someone's monitor. Looks like they're watching football or some other sport on work time. You've got nothing to smile about, Phil. This department's in a shocking state. Get your hands out of your pockets and start clipping ears.