Wednesday, 3 March 2010

Richard R. Schlinkert, Southeast Regional Sales Manager, Jupiter Systems

He's using his hair to make a frame for his face. Clever idea. It stops the brain from having to work so hard on locating the face.



For some bizarre reason we can picture him having webcam sex. His face seems to shout out webcam sex. Maybe it's because he's taken his tie off and started to unbutton his shirt? That's what we always ask them to do.

We're not suggesting Richard does or has ever done webcam sex, just that he looks the sort you might see were you to log into Chatroulette at 4.45am. It's not a crime to say something looks like something, is it? Guess we're about to find out.

18 comments:

Graham Mumford said...

I regret I shall have to deliver a harsh Judgement on Mr Shlinkert. While his name may be good for business I regret that this 'portrait' is symptomatic of the loose morals and falling standards so prevalent in the business world today.
Mr Shlinkert seems to positively revel in his ginger status, thrusting it in our very faces you might say and taunting us with a wide eyed mad hamster stare.
Added to that a coloured *button down collar* shirt, total lack of tie and not a decent jacket to be seen anywhere.
This sort of thing may be all very well for Mrs Shlinkerts family album (provided it is kept safely locked away) but in today's post crash world? I think NOT!
It is precisely this sort of thing that led to Enron and Lehman Brothers...

zep said...

I think this is the first outdoor shot. Beware everybody! Schlinkert has left the building and is on the move!

Anonymous said...

Zorg, whilst I acknowledge the hair and facial details may be a tad different, he has the same expression as you in the Youtube battery reviews!

GigerPunk said...

Youtube battery reviews? I have not seen these, just the energy & efficiency series and the "Putting batteries in a torch the WRONG WAY ROUND" vid which I think some people STILL fail to 'get'
I shall have to treat the wife to a "Gary Cutlack evening" on tv tonight then...

The CEO said...

Oh yes, that reminds me - I must file a DMCA takedown complaint against that bunch of tools I used to 'work' for.

pingus said...

Leprechaun alert!

Terrier Games said...

He reminds me of a small, scared woodland creature actually.

I kind of feel that we should put out a saucer of milk and a bowl of cat food for him...

Anonymous said...

GigerPunk - true, but this surely qualifies:

http://www.techdigest.tv/2008/01/shiny_video_pif.html

Never fails to make me laugh. As someone said in a post recently, your talents are definitely wasted here Zorg. You should be writing the next Spitting Image or 2DTV.

GigerPunk said...

Right, I've got to go and get some pifco batteries from poundland now. Which reminds me, I managed to grab some pictures of an odd battery yesterday, used to power a Cisco Aironet while surveying a building, shall have to send it in.

Seems wrong talking about batteries here though, should be on Extralast. Seems about as wrong as last night, eating pizza whilst wearing a cravat.

The CEO said...

I look all pale and puffy :(

DicSoc said...

I wish you'd do more videos. BUT NO, too busy wanting to live your own life the way *you* want, without a care for what random people on the Internet think.

Or write some scripts and send them to the BBC or something. It's not right to waste talent.

GigerPunk said...

The wife and I had an enjoyable "Gary Cutlack on Youtube" night last night, going through all the energy and efficiency videos, the battery (and charger) reviews, the various recharging techniques and even the 'robot' wars in hyde park and the testing laptop screens on the beach in the rain videos. The complete and utter apathy, boredom and obvious contempt for having to film the robot wars one made that one particularly fun.

Tried watching a few of the vids made by the other shiny staff but couldn't. We tried, seriously we did, but we just couldn't make it through any more than about 30 seconds at best. But then, it they were generally like a fan-created amateur version of the gadget show, which I also hate and I'm guessing they have a slightly better budget. And maybe a tripod for the camera.

Somehow the uncomfortable and amateurish filmed-in-bedroom vibe of Gary's videos comes across as more professional than the 'proper serious presenter doing interviews or being filmed at a product show' vids and certainly more entertaining.

More please, we'd watched it all by 9.30 (started around 6.30), don't know what we're going to watch tonight now.

The CEO said...

I never worked out how to interact with Kat and her enthusiasm and those robots were useless.

The only video I could watch today is the Home/Work life balance one. That has some serious Gary Cutlack "fan service" in it and I still chuckle at my Bill Gates impression.

GigerPunk said...

Oooh, we missed that one, shall have to look for that tonight.

GigerPunk said...

Yeeeers, see what you mean. Not going to be able to hear the windows logo without hearing those words in my head now you bast.
I was going to post something about the 'fan service' with that hint of naked shoulder as you were lying in bed but then, well, I shouldn't say any more for fear of attracting even more weirdo stalkers, eh?
Pffft. 6.34 already now, that lasted even less time than last night. Ever considered setting up a 24/7 webcam?

Trilby said...

I think I know how I would have interacted with Kat's enthusiasm.

(It involves my penis.)

Anonymous said...

If it's not Scottish, It's Crap!

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