Saturday, 13 June 2009

Charles DallAcqua, Executive Vice President with responsibility for marketing, Harland Clarke

Here he is, ladies and gentlemen!

You've seen him in the masthead!

You've wondered if that's a businessman or a retired Hollywood actor!

You've looked through all the updates we've done so far and wondered why he isn't there!

You've thought to yourselves "Is that Patrick Stewart? They mentioned Patrick Stewart in the update about Ray D'Arcy, so perhaps it is Patrick Stewart? Perhaps this blog is viral marketing for Patrick Stewart's new business venture? Because no one would do this for free, would they?"

No! It is not Patrick Stewart. This blog is about high-resolution photographs of businessmen (and we are doing it for free), so unless Patrick Stewart has quit acting and opened up an organic delicatessen or an Ashtanga yoga retreat for stressed celebrities in Los Angeles recently, it wouldn't be right to have photos of Patrick Stewart on here.

This man also has hair, so definitely isn't Patrick Stewart.

So here he is, at full-size resolution...

All hail the grey/bronze business MACHINE that is... Charles DallAcqua!



That's the dream. To look that healthy and vibrant at age 62. To have that much hair at age 61. To have teeth that are OK to smile with at age 62. In the dark light of a nightclub, in a t-shirt and jeans, to be able to get away with telling girls you're only 36 at age 61.

A bit of 'Just For Men' and he could even try saying he's 29. Or he could go the other way, shave it all off and hang around at Star Trek fan conventions having his pick of the groupies before Jonathan Frakes gets there.

Charles, you are a lucky, lucky man, basically.

24 comments:

Lumpy L said...

Pheweee! I would like to schedule a meeting with him in meeting room 3. No wait, meeting room 2 - the chairs in there are more comfy.

Carr said...

He has a profile on LinkedIn. I could message him, if you like? See if he has a starfleet uniform?

Davydd Grimm said...

I bet you didn't even have to look up Jonathan Frakes' name when you posted this.

I didn't when I read it :(

The CEO said...

No, although I did a cheeky image search to check out on his current weight/girth situation.

Let's just hope those futuristice space fabrics have a lot of give in them.

The CEO said...

Actually, I must confess. I did Google the spelling of Jonathan Frakes to check if it's JonathAN or the less common JonathON.

Sorry. The half-truth has been eating me up all weekend.

yoyo said...

He's awesome. I don't look that healthy and vibrant and I'm 24. Perhaps he's sacrificing virgins and bathing in their blood.

Mrs. DallAcqua said...

Hey - That's my huband you're posting about!!! He's 54 NOT 61 and even more dreamy in person. I'm a lucky, lucky girl...

Anonymous said...

he's a total dick. glad he got fired. ladies - you can have him!

Anonymous said...

He's about 5' 4" and has a toilet for a mouth. The old saying is right...appearances aren't everything - character and values have to count for something.

Anonymous said...

Wow -- "total dick" and "toliet mouth"??? Sounds like a couple prissy, stuck-up prima donnas that don't like to work very hard. I've worked for him and he has very little tolerance for that type.

The CEO said...

Excellent reports. I feel I know him. What sort of thing does he have for lunch? I'd imagine he only has time for a sandwich "on the go"!

Anonymous said...

Actually, he never ate lunch. When there was a business or client meeting that included lunch, he would occasionally indulge in a small bowl of soup. I don't think he'd eat anything as common as a sandwich.

The CEO said...

Thanks. My Charles DallAcqua fan-fiction is going to extremely well anchored in reality.

Anonymous said...

Can we at least get his age corrected in the above text to what it actually is - 54.

zeptimius said...

I googled him and it turns out he was involved in some kind of disputed discharge lawsuit, against a lady claiming to be a whistleblower...
http://www.ca3.uscourts.gov/opinarch/041084np.pdf

yoyo said...

Oh noes... Now I'm conflicted. I still kind of want him as a surrogate dad, but not if he's a bad person.

I don't know what to think anymore.

Anonymous said...

That much hair?! He's half bald!

And if he's truly 54, he looks pretty bad for his age!

Anonymous said...

To Zeptimius, perhaps you should read the entire lawsuit you linked- the entire case was dismissed:
"Norris failed to adduce evidence creating a
genuine issue of material fact as to whether Harte-Hanks or any other Defendant – like J
& J in D’Agostino – engineered the misconduct which Norris alleged took place at
PMSI’s Bellmawr, New Jersey facility, that any such engineering took place in New
Jersey, or that any of the Defendants made or influenced the decision to terminate her
employment in New Jersey. Nor does the record support Norris’s statements that she was
employed in New Jersey (in addition to Pennsylvania). And Norris’s New Jersey
residence does her little good – the record demonstrates that she was employed in
Pennsylvania, and “it is well-established in New Jersey that claims of a New Jersey
resident, relating to out-of-state employment, are governed by the law of the state in
which that New Jersey resident is employed.” Brunner v. Allied Signal, Inc., 198 F.R.D.
612, 614 (D.N.J. 2001) (citation and internal quotation marks omitted).
Accordingly, the District Court properly refused to apply New Jersey law, and
properly granted summary judgment to the Defendants. Therefore, we will affirm."

The CEO said...

Uh-oh. Does this one need to be deleted before THE FEDS kick the door down?

Trilby said...

I haven't got the time to read all that. Did he rape the duck or didn't he?

Rock City said...

OMG, Check out his air brushed hair ! Gag, this is classic corporate photography, unveiling their depicted Princely Perception.

The grey airbrush highlights and razor sharp sideburns with just the right amount of shadowy grey airbrush leaves me - disgusted.

They obviously worked over this highlights. YUK.

Corporate folly to the max.

Who are these imposter image masters?

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Anonymous said...

The face matches the heart and soul of this total tool and egomaniac, who is reportedly hung like a light switch with the IQ of a gnat. Notorious womanizer who is inappropriate for a sailor, let along an "executive". He is a PIG of the highest level and someone I would love to meet in a dark alley and beat the living shit out of.....insect dick and mold for brains...lock the doors and watch your 8 year olds....he has the class of the shit in your front yard....fuck-stick!

Anonymous said...

The person above is my new best friend!! PS-If you know this guy the above comments are sugar coated!!

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