Poor Eduardo clearly hasn't got a woman in his life, as no loyal female would let her man out of the house in the morning with a tie knot in that sorry state.
"Bloody hell, Eduardo! Go back and do it again. The knot's all tiny and it's way too tight. You'll end up fainting from restricted blood flow. And did you remember to put clean underpants on today? I'll know if you didn't, there were three clean pairs in your drawer yesterday."