Christopher Welp, Executive Vice President of Insurance Operations, Aviva USA

They churn these ones out in China at a rate of 10,000 per day. They come over in boxes a bit like coffins, then you buy one at the supermarket when you have some admin you need doing.



Sorry, Chris, you're a disposable item. Use once to fill in a boring form, then deflate and incinerate.

Graeme Bottger, Vice President and Controller, Alcoa

You'd look this confident, too, if your official job title called you the "Controller".

Only the Controller can get away with having a moustache.



FAVOURED METHOD OF CONTROL: Balls in a vice.

Ray O'Connor, President and CEO, Topcon Positioning Systems

That lapel badge symbolises his favourite breakfast cereal, for meeting small-talk purposes.



Shredded Wheat. That why his skin's so healthy.

Marc R. Viscogliosi, Principal, Viscogliosi Bros. LLC

There's not much more you can do with hair like that, except have it swept as far out of sight as possible. He'd look even crazier with a fringe.



Here he is with a makeshift fringe:



We started doing another version with it all shaved off, but it was too graphic. We frightened ourselves.

John Harju, Associate Director for Research, EERC

Some rudimentary post production has been attempted here. Backgrounds that uniform simply do not exist in nature.



Unless he's in a meeting room in THE VORTEX.

Sexy Executives is pleased to appoint Ray Ratto as new Non-Executive Director of Sports

Ray Ratto is not an executive. He is a sports writer. So we've hired him, without his permission or knowledge, to be the new Sexy Executives Non-Executive Director of Sports.

Now Ray is an executive. Welcome aboard, Ray! So here he is:



Ray, it's just not working out. You're fired.

Mark K. Olson, Chief Financial Officer, Pacific Capital Bancorp

We've TORN APART the rule book** to accommodate Mark. This image is only a poor quality 450 x 563 file, well below our usual mandatory minimum executive photograph resolution standards, but there's something about the eyes...

The eyes... the eyes... the eyes...



*Signs over all money and deeds of house to Pacific Capital Bancorp*

**It was only a photocopy of a small number of pages for dramatic effect.